We have no idea why, but just like when we were kids, we’re currently obsessed with Pokémon. And no, we’re not talking about any Pokémon that came along after Mewtwo. we’re referring to the OG’s! These creatures were our only friends back in school; every single afternoon we would join Ash, Brock and Misty in their quest to discover more Pokémon with the help of Professor Oak in their fantastical world (even though we now think it’s kind of strange sending a kid, 10 years of age, into the world to fend for himself, but okay)

But in the spirit of honouring the things we loved (and still love) as kids, the mystical creatures that had our undivided attention when girls were icky and social media was nothing more than “volksvreemd,” here’s our list of the most memorable Pokémon and their awesome powers.

Magikarp

The greatest Pokémon of them all! Nobody knows this, but this fucker has the amazing ability to SPLASH. If you ever played Pokémon Red or Blue on a Game Boy, you would know the immense destruction that laid in its wake after the infamous SPLASH. Seriously, how did Magikarp not catch on in the world? Level 19 Magikarp was probably the single worst thing when we were younger.

magikarp-epic-battle

Charizard

The dragon! The first dragon that really captured our hearts. Fuck Game of Thrones! Charizard in the animated series was a stubborn doos. He didn’t even budge when Ash was in trouble… sies! The first edition Charizard Pokémon cards are considered very valuable today, so if you have one in your mom’s basement, you might wanna rescue it. Just move your bed, and you’re bound to find one. Charizard was a fire-type Pokémon, and him and all his previous evolutions had lit tails… still trying to figure that one out… I mean, you have a lit tail, but you can’t control fire… we’re stumped.

charizard pokemon

Jigglypuff

A Pokémon that sings “Jigglypuff” for a few seconds and you’re asleep… kind of hard to grasp, but let’s go with it. Jigglypuff is the Bieber of our school years. When it opened its mouth, we couldn’t help but doze off. Jigglypuff has been known to stalk unsuspecting kids in the Poké-world, just to sing one song to them. Bieber written all over it, physical attributes included.

jigglypuff3

Alakazam

An IQ over 5000, can only do 4 moves, and can only say “Alakazam,” yet again, we’re just going with it. A Pokémon who has a weird obsession with spoons, has an amazing IQ, yet cannot escape a Pokéball. Are we supposed to over-think this?

alakazam meme

Metapod

Another baffling Pokémon. Metapod; the “brother” of Magikarp. It cannot do anything noteworthy, except to HARDEN and take the hits. It’s HARDEN ability is the envy of all other Pokémon, as this makes him rock hard. Go hard or go home!

metapod meme

Gengar

Gengar, or the demon in Paranormal Activity as we like to call it. This purple asshole levitates and can infiltrate your dreams to make you hurt yourself. We might be wrong, but you could never catch one with a normal Pokéball, as it was a ghost. Damn you physics! You stumped us on this one.

gengar meme

Lickitung

The licking Pokémon. If you were a kid and tried to emulate his moves, your parents probably sent you to a therapist. Lickitung had the ability to LICK, just LICK. And boy, did this Pokémon like to lick… Everyone should’ve stood clear of this one’s tongue, as it had the ability to perform amazing feats… that’s what she said.
lickitung meme

Snorlax

“A wild Snorlax appears” First things first, how does a Pokémon that huge just appear? This lazy Pokémon sleeps for most of the day (the whole day) and only eats when it’s eventually awake, so the chances of him just appearing seem pretty slim. Snorlax had no other ability than to eat, sleep and maybe crush you. ‘MURICA! This one’s for you!

 

snorlax panty

Caterpie

It’s a worm.

It has come a full circle

It has come a full circle

Jynx

Jynx is the answer to all the female pop stars in the world. It looks exactly like one of them before heading on stage to lip-sync. It communicates with body movements and screeches when trying to speak. like we said. Pop Stars!

jynx meme

We hated Pikachu, so not on our list…

What do you think? Any Pokémon we might’ve left out on our list?

Pikachu-Cheers-Up-A-Caterpie-With-Feels-On-Pokemon