Now, I know it’s about 50 fucking degrees Celsius in South Africa at the moment, but this piece of alcoholic genius should not be overlooked. How many times have you had a lot of beer, yet no means of opening them. How many times during your drunken expeditions, has that drink you’ve been sipping on, “accidentally” slipped right out of your hand. Also, how often have you found yourself outside of a pub, frantically looking for your ID?

Well, rejoice friends! The Drinkmaster Hoodie has the answer to all your booze-related problems. Here are some of the more useful features of this snazzy invention.


– Zipper/bottle opener (The epitome of convenience right there.)

– Built-in drinking gloves with non-slip grip (I’ve never heard of “drinking gloves”. Seems drinking is getting serious.)

– Snappable I.D. pocket (“Do you have your Id sir?” “Oh, hell yes!”)

– Beer Koozie pocket (for keeping round two nice and cold, while also keeping your nipple nice and dry.)

– Deep pockets (no, that doesn’t mean you’ll be super-rich when you wear the hoodie.)

– Flask pocket (for when you really don’t want to make it home any time soon.)

If worse comes to worse; The Drinkmaster Hoodie, complete with its fleece-lined interior, will at least keep you warm during those cold nights spent in jail for pissing against a police car.

– Tank, out.