Beerpong is an exciting game filled with possibilities and all-around fun for the whole family. It brings individuals together in a group and binds them for life – or till the game ends. But more importantly, Beerpong has this tendency to cause injuries, some severe and others less serious. So we’re gonna point it out for you in order to protect this magical game; I was the victim from one of these health risks this past weekend.

The Run-up…jump into the table:

A very common and often the cause of serious pelvic troubles. Let me explain briefly how this happens: a standard issue beerpong table, one player determined to make the shot takes a run-up like he’s trying to outrun Usian Bolt, misjudges the table and his timing, crotch against the edge of the table… severe pain.

Crotch Shot

The fall over, or the faceplant of destruction:

This happens to the newbies or the heavily intoxicated who are so determined to make a good throw that they imitate the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but with one exception… they’re not stuck in the ground. The inevitable happens; they fall over with no clear protection being used as a pong ball occupies their hands resulting in a faceplant with the table caving in and beer/alcoholic refreshments being tossed like confetti at a Baberton Wedding.

The bullet theory:

The most daunting shot with no chance of ever getting into a cup. The Dale Steyn of beer pong as I like to call it – the straight bullet into another person’s eye, crotch region or the most common; ricocheting against an object and has every person in a ten meter radius ducking and diving like their being shot at.

The determination in their eyes

The determination in their eyes

The splashed:

This is one of the less serious injuries that can be inflicted on oneself, but any person with a clear mind will know that beer in an eye is like acid on the tongue; it burns. The splashed happens when a ball is thrown at a larger trajectory into a cup, and Free Willy-ing all around the table, causing temporary blindness and beer stained clothes.

The over excited much:

Not so much an injury that’s the direct result of beerpong, it’s more of an injury caused by being over excited and ecstatic. Much like any sporting event, people get happy and very emotional, so much so that celebrations are needed. Unsuspecting team-mates are often the people who receive the short end of this, a missed high five to the face or a chest bump into the fans watching from the side are the most likely outcomes of this.

Take note of the high five, both parties are aware

Take note of the high five, both parties are aware

I had too much:

Much like the previous paragraph, this happens regularly and isn’t so much of a physical injury, more of an emotional one. Seeing as beer is consumed constantly and without much pause, the human body has a defensive mechanism to counter this called ‘Opening the floodgates’. When the flood starts in front of you or team mates, all of whom are present will receive emotional scars.

The I won and need a victory jump:

The best of the rest: when you win a game of beerpong, seldom should you celebrate it like you’ve won the Rugby World Cup, or jump up and down like a diseased squirrel, but this comes as natural to the assholes who gloat and boast every time they win. They usually get the winning shot, take off their shirts, run up and down and try to form a Superman like stance in the air. What happens after this is what makes the world go around. They misjudge the line of fire and end up breaking a table, falling on chairs or taking out innocent bystanders.

There are countless more injuries to sustain during beerpong and should be viewed in a serious light, so if you are around a beerpong game and sense that one of them are bound to happen, get the camera out and become an internet sensation. See, we’re serious about this!