I love festivals. I love the mood and aura that surrounds them. And I love festivals that are so close to my home. That’s exactly what Wolmer Fest proved to be.

When we climbed in the car on Friday afternoon to make our way to Wolmer, we were amped. After a quick 5 minute drive we entered the Mordor-like terrain along with others looking to drench their souls in music. We were greeted by strict security at the entrance, and after a quick stop at the bar we were ready for the bands. But unfortunately, there were so many line-up changes over the last few proceeding days to the festival, we weren’t exactly sure who would be playing, or when (insert band name here) would be making their way on-stage.

Thanks to an updated line-up check, we saw that Facing the Gallows were playing the Wolmer Stage, and it was their second last gig… like ever! They came out guns blazing, filling the air with metal madness and screams. The Wolmer-nites were happy and soaked it all in! Facing the Gallows delivered as solid a show as they did at Ramfest.

Another quick stop at the bar and we were ready for anything, but we weren’t ready for The Anti Retro Vinyl’s… I have never been a fan of the band, or the hipster-punk-I’m-poor-eyeliner-look they’re trying to pull off. I’m sure they’re nice guys who try really hard to make a name for themselves, but I’m not convinced of their music.

The Slashdogs also blew minds when they were on stage, yet it was a shame so few people saw them…

We listened to other bands of course, screaming and strutting their stuff on stage. They were okay, but they didn’t interest me all that much. Instead, we had a good time chilling at the tables and the lanterns on the tables creating a ‘romantic’ mood. We left after a few hours, and as soon as I stepped into my house, I noticed that I forgot my phone on the ‘romantic’ table… after a quick scurry and with phone retrieved, I closed my intoxicated eyes at home.

Saturday: The sun was beating down on the mortals of earth, and we decided to make our way to the festival grounds a little bit later. After a few beers and braai-vleis we eventually headed into Wolmer. After a quick set-back at the gate (Gurrrrlllfriend lost her media access armband) we entered the festival grounds! We had a chat with friends and musos before we sat down at the table next to the stage, awaiting the much-loved and eccentric Black Cat Bones.

They took to the stage and started playing their set, which attracted the largest crowd we had seen so far, and Kobus de Kock Jnr. graced the stage, with porcupine nails on his head, and ‘wounds’ all over his body. They fucking killed it! They weren’t voted best live band in South Africa for nothing! With handstands and dirty rock ‘n roll, the people of Wolmer had their music fix… or so we thought!


A mention must also go out to Newtown Knife Gang and Red Helen, both delivered great shows!

Next up were Boargazm, led by the Van der Walt brothers. Slipknot-Saw-Pig Masks were in full swing for the speed metal they delivered to the crowd. They were fucking entertaining, and had a huge following in front of the stage. Metal isn’t dead! It’s here! With pig masks!

We switched between the Wolmer and Main Stage the rest of the night, and listened to the rock/metal sounds behind a brandy. We talked about how Wolmer had changed over the years, from a make-shift stage with added beer stall, to a fully stocked bar, and a set-in-stone stage.

Conclusion: It was a good festival, I love the fact that it was so close, especially because I’m a lazy fucker. The bands were good, a little bit more diversity would’ve killed, and I saw an unfortunate event of crime, but that’s not Wolmer’s fault, we live in a country where stealing is considered ‘acceptable’. Fuck it!

Wolmer! You rocked, and I enjoyed the all new weekend vibe! See you next time!

Photos by Shané Mc Mahon and Cherise Scheepers