This past weekend my lady and I watched Warm Bodies. I liked it, she liked it, and it provided us with a lot of chuckles. After the movie was done, I got to thinking; how did Warm Bodies not explode into the movie scene?

Nobody really talked about it and it didn’t cause a ruckus like THAT movie. After much consideration, and countless sleepless nights having questions without any answers, I came up with a list on how Warm Bodies is better than THAT movie:

Warm Bodies

Zombies are funnier and more realistic than bloodsuckers. They also have blood on their face, apparently bloodsuckers don’t anymore.

There’s violence, and monsters that can scare you. Not cause countless women to become moist (Moist, what a fucking weird word)

Eye Candy, yes a girl who’s something for the eyes. We like a girl who smiles and has more personality than a grain of rice.

The lead guy is funny; he swears, he’s a zombie. What more do you want? Oh yes he’s rotten and decaying, he doesn’t sparkle and his face doesn’t resemble a kid that ran face first into a glass door.

A funny fattish friend, every movie needs one. The Hangover has one, Family Guy has one and now Warm Bodies has one, called Marcus!

There’s a real bad guy (or bony bad things), not characters that are bad, but in truth they are good, but they still want to be bad because they hate the good guys so the bad guys has no real point in being bad, good?

The lead character gets shot and doesn’t wine like a pussy, he takes it like a man.

The landscape is portrayed as desolated and baron waste land, but it still looks better than a town that has no fucking sunlight so to speak off.

Old School Rock on a turn table > Whiny ‘what’s popular at the moment’ music

Did I mention that every movie needs zombies?

Well there you have it, my thoughts on Warm Bodies and what I enjoyed about it. I know that half the people reading this won’t see eye to eye with me. But nonetheless, do yourself a favor and check it out!