Whooo, we’re back yet again for the Norfff chronicles! It feels like we’ve been together for a lifetime; hopefully I’ve changed your perspective on ‘Pretoria Noord’ and we learned interesting things together. Hell, I’ve grown! The Norfff is truly a strange place so we need to get the chronicles out into the world, we need to war… inform the world. This week we will be covering our musical taste, smoking habits *cough cough* addictions and Boobs! (Side note from Tank – “I like boobs”)

Music:

We have extraordinary musical taste – it’s so diverse and unique. We in the Norfff love every song that’s so hot right now, whether it’s Dirk van der Westhuizen, Scooter, or The Biebs; we simply love it! We don’t dwell too much into the meaning of certain songs because if the beat is right, we’ll move all night. Any dub step that sounds like a dishwasher going through a rough patch of dishes, is alright in our books and tapes! As I previously stated, our cars are closer to our hearts than our aortas, we like to ‘pomp’ the music so loud, and rough! Very rough, the plastic wheel spinners may fall off, but who cares, the beat is ‘lekker’. We usually also dip into a lot of ‘Sokkie Treffers’, ‘Bokjol’ and ‘Braai treffers vir die langpad’ at any event, we will ‘Skarumba’ at a funeral if the music permits, and throw down a ‘befokte sokkie’ for all the people.

The only Norfff album to be proud of

The only Norfff album to be proud of

Smoking Habits:

If you’re from the Norfff, chances are that you; smoke, have smoked before, or are having a smoke as we speak. It’s a given coming from other side of the ‘Poort’ that you will indulge into the smoky world of Sharp, Princeton or Voyager. We settle for these because let’s face it – Chesterfield and Marlboro are for people who live close to Brooklyn, nothing more! Chances are also very good that you usually buy your cigarettes from the local BP or Engen as loose straws when you come from the Norfff, and that you would rather smoke than eat in the evenings. When we go out drinking we have to compensate for a packet of smokes, because one packet will last the same amount of time as blonde hair dye in the Patricia Lewis household. The things that happen to a packet of smokes on a good night out includes, losing the whole packet, putting the cigarette in your mouth the wrong away around four times in a row and lighting each attempt, severe alcohol stains and throwing them around as confetti when throwing down to ‘Titanium’.

Smoking Norfff

Boobs…Moobies to be exact:

I am referring to manboobs – moobies for the unenlightened. They are everywhere in the Norfff. Drive down West street on a Saturday morning and you will be greeted by hairy, waxed or gorilla demon moobies all around the street, mowing the lawn in Pee-tee shorts, a BlouBul cap and flaming red Crocs. If it’s the middle of winter or hailing, the moobies will be out and about trying to catch hail for their double brandy specials, or snow to make a Brandy Slushy. It’s quite funny that there are more overweight ‘toppies’ in the Norfff than girls, so truthfully there are more moobies than actual boobs in the Norfff… scary thought, and may scare off the fickle…

Lawwwd, help us all!

Lawwwd, help us all!

I thank you for the time and effort for checking out the Norfff chronicles each and every week. If there are any suggestions, join us for a drink (or fifteen) and throw down a comment below if you’re not up for the Norfff Kings.