It was Friday, I woke with a smile knowing that in just a few short hours, I’d be rubbing shoulders with great people and watching my favorite bands do what they do best. It was the weekend of RamFest Johannesburg… and shit, was that fact exciting.



Having not been lucky enough to get my hands on a camping ticket, I didn’t think too hard about gathering supplies for this years RamFest. The only preparations I felt necessary to make, were making sure I had enough alcohol and the essential hangover medications.

Supplied only with a steak in a cooler, buns and a few packs of Doritos, (along with the aforementioned booze) I felt prepared for anything RamFest could throw at me.

Fuck, how wrong I was.

The Road (literally) to RamFest:

The drive to the event was fairly uneventful. And, since my radio had been stolen only a week or two prior to that particular weekend – it was also a silent, uncomfortable ride with only the occasional small talk shared between myself and my “navigator”. (half of the road to Riversands Farm [RamFest Johannesburg venue] was completely shitty dirt-road.)


Arrival and Settling in:

While driving around, looking for a parking spot (and trying to avoid crashing into the drunk locals), the unmistakable sounds of a music festival excited our ears.

I found a spot not too far from the camping and festival grounds – because of our fairly early arrival. And seeing as I would basically be living out of my car for the duration of RamFest, there was nothing to unpack. That fact meant that we could start enjoying the festivities right away. And so, as if on cue, we had our first three Jager shots before even getting out of the car. (If you’ve read one or two of my posts, you’ll find that Jager and I don’t mix well… so you may know where this is heading.


Firstly, we needed to help (or at least find) our friends out in the camping area. Along the way, I couldn’t help but notice that most of the festival-goers were undoubtedly Johannesburg locals… since it was the Johannesburg leg of the tour, it wasn’t that surprising. But it felt strange for me – a Pretoria native, who is usually surrounded by Afrikaans speaking guys and girls, now surrounded by horrible “Afringlish” accents. But, they were a nice bunch and we even opted to help out a few people along the way… which earned us a few invites to camp sites and gifts of booze (among other things). I also got a few phone numbers in case I needed directions to their camping sites… However, I couldn’t remember which names these numbers were saved under, so I never saw any of those fellow music lovers again.

The Shows… and One of the Worst Festival Sins of all

After everything was set up, and everyone had their fill of alcohol before going into the festival area (which did not allow you to bring any of your own booze inside), we made our way directly to the main stage.


The enigmatic “Fuzigish” was already getting the crowd ready for the headlining acts. And, It was at right about that time that I committed one of the worst crimes you could commit at a music festival.

But before I come clean, you have to know that I was drinking – or more accurately, drowning myself in alcohol on an empty stomach. That combined with all the walking, jumping and falling around, was a very bad combination. The suspicious “baked goods” we ate may have also contributed slightly…

And it all led to me watching Van Coke Cartel and Jack Parow through the rear window of my car, trying desperately to keep myself from “redecorating” its interior with subtle tones of vomit.

However, I did happen to make my way down to the stage for the last two Parow songs, and was pleasantly surprised by what I saw when I got closer…

I have no idea when he lost his pants, but hell, was that hilarious.

The first night ended on a high note with everyone gathered together at a camp site, talking about the amazing shows and laughing at my little trip to the car.

A report on day 2 should be online in the next few days. If you promise to read it, I promise to make it more awesome than this one.

If you’ve ever committed a festival crime like my little mishap, please share it with us in the comments!