Music Festival organisers: “We are proud to announce that X will be in South Africa next year, performing two shows at Y and Z. #hashtagevent

Everyone on the internet: “ I hate you so much right now! Why couldn’t you bring A, B or even DD!? Fuck you! I shall pray to the gods of rock ‘n’ roll to destroy your establishment! I have a wedding that weekend/ouma’s birthday/LAN party/Netflix and chill, so I won’t attend… Thank fuck!”

It’s the same old bullshit every damn year. Organizers announce having snagged an international artist, and five seconds later they are the spawn of Satan for bringing them to South Africa. The internet hates international artists. It really does. They’re never good enough, or they are labeled “has-beens” who should’ve quit the industry years ago. Mumford & Sons were too “folky” for the masses, Gogol Bordello was too “gypsy,” and don’t even get me started on Wolfmother (too damn hairy!).

Yesterday, when RAMfest announced that they would be bringing Black Rebel Motorcycle Club to the party (read, not the headline act), fans went crazy about the announcement. Today, the same with Ultra South Africa. However, the rest of the internet went even more bonkers; kakking out RAMfest for bringing them to South Africa. How dare they!? How dare they bring an international artist to South Africa!? Why aren’t they listening to the fans!? The fans wanted Slipknot, Tool, Blink-182, Good Charlotte, Disturbed, Nirvana, AC/DC, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Nightwish, NOFX, Dropkick Murphys, Manowar, Queen, Green Day, Rush, Muse, Flogging Molly, Alien Ant Farm, Crazy Town,The Ramones, Foo Fighters, Black Sabbath, My Chemical Romance, Kanye, Journey, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Misfits, Rancid, New Found Glory and even The Doors! Jinne! RAMfest are not taking the fans into consideration! Exhale and read that again. Fan input is always valuable, but some people’s needs will never be satisfied. Even the resurrection of Kurt Cobain for one last show would be met with “has-been” from the internet.

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The Internet after reading an international band announcement

Chill out! It’s just one artist so far. If you don’t like them, don’t watch them. Nobody will be forcing you to watch them. You won’t be kidnapped and tied down in front of the stage, with your eyelids superglued to your forehead. You do have a choice in case you didn’t know. AND, you do realise there are tons of other music festivals around South Africa, right? If you’re not keen on seeing BRMC (even though you totally should be), then hit up another festival. It’s that easy. Don’t be a miserable fuck because you hate the band, even though you have no idea what they sound like. We’re all different, we have different musical tastes, we’re humans. But when we become an internet troll, we fucking hate everything that there is to hate when any other troll brings it up. Kak on organizers about the venue, the lack of metal, the time, jinne. Let’s even kak about the damn logo! It’s so lekker and easy to complain!

With all of that said, we will be checking out RAMfest 2016. Even if just for one day. Let’s face it, most of the people attending a 3-day music festival will be too “gaar” to even watch the international artists by the third day. You will be sleeping in your tent, faintly hearing the sounds of what could’ve been an amazing show. Don’t deny it. It happens!

Screw this.

Thank you RAMfest and other music festivals for bringing artists to our shores. Most of us really do appreciate it!