With 2015 almost in sy moer in, we look forward to 2016 (with all your new resolutions and kak), and what it will be offering. There will be new elections in the political arena, the Springboks will most probably have a new coach, and there will be a ton of music festivals to keep your ears warm and your souls a bit younger.

We here at Why Ed have compiled a list of music festivals that will be kief come 2016, and will be tearing into your boring day-job during the calendar. What music festivals are you referring to, you may ask… Well, listen up champ, this one’s for you! (Click the names of each of the festivals for more information)

Up The Creek

When? January

How does it work?

Okay, you klap a lilo, swim-pants, and sunscreen. Head to Swellendam for one weekend of moistness and music. A music festival where you moer your body in a river and float around while listening to awesome tunes.

Lekker rating: You’re on a floating apparatus in the middle of a river, listening to good music. We say it’s pretty kiefpiele.

Wallet status: You may have to give up two weekends of dopping, and maybe ask for a little sakgeld from the parental adults to buy a neon lilo.

up the creek

RAMfest

When? March

How does it work?

Maak seker jou nekspiere is 110% and head down to RAMfest for one mamoerse festival. Hulle was nie laas jaar by ons nie, so jy moet RAMfest kwadraat volgende jaar.

Lekker rating: Good. RAMfest does not disappoint. A massive jol for both Gauteng and Cape Town people. We give it a thumbs up. Jy gaan ongelukkig net so paar comments soos “not enough metal” hoor, to hell with them.

Wallet status: Only for one day. So, a few trips to Spur cut out from your budget.

ramfest

Mieliepop

When? March

How does it work?

A new face on the scene. Mieliepop will be held in M-poemalangaaaaa! The North’s answer to all those festivals with a river. Three days in musical ecstasy.

Lekker rating: Twee duime in die lug! Another world to have a music festival at. It’s secluded and you will feel like a champ while admiring your beautiful surroundings with a beer in each hand.

Wallet status: Vrydag aand (Nie die Snotkop liedjie nie). Jy gaan so een Vrydag moet Netflix en chill om hierdie in te werk. Jy kan dit even afbetaal! Jou ma sal trots wees dat jy actually kan skuld maak.

mieliepop

Otterlake Easter Festival

When? March

How does it work?

Otterlake Easter Festival will be held in Pretoria. You won’t see any Otters (damn), but you’re bound to have a good time. A three day festival spanning over Easter Weekend. Paas-eier hunt with the family and then head down to Otterlake.

Lekker rating: Like drinking an ice cold tequila overlooking the serene bushveld. Befok!

Wallet status: Jy gaan nie kak en betaal nie. About one solitary weekend of partying that you will have to give up to afford it.

otterlake festival

Splashy Fen

When? March

How does it work?

South Africa’s oldest music festival will be held during Easter Weekend in Kwazulu Natal. Bring your party-ness! The festival will be held on green luscious grass next to a river. Dik lekker!

Lekker rating: Berge, dale, en ‘n rivier. Jinne! Die equivalent soos toe jy die eerste keer Star Wars gekyk het.

Wallet status: Bietjie meer uit die sak indien jy van Pretoors af ry. So een of twee spaarblikkies gaan hulle gatte sien.

splashy fen

Witchfest

When? March

How does it work?

Swart-metaal, katte slag, en doos baie dudes met face-paint. Dis Witchfest (bar die katte slag, dis net fucked up). Di’s ‘n groot festival waar jy die beste metaal orkeste van orals kan beleef. Maak net seker jy vat ‘n nekstut vir die laaste dag.

Lekker rating: Dit gaan hard en vinnig wees. Jy gaan heel-moontlik watte moet saam vat as oorpluisies. It’s a metal fest, what did you expect?

Wallet status: Hy gaan bietjie rof op die sak wees. Kry ‘n ryk maatjie vir die ene wat hou van klassieke musiek, hy gaan dit fokkol like, die fees verlaat, dan score jy met toegang. Sies… maar dit werk!

witchfest

Sowing the Seeds

When? April

How does it work?

Kap ‘n trip to Emmerentia Dam in Jolburg to check a host of local and international artists. 2016 will be the fourth edition of this festival.

Lekker rating: As jy die vibe by Harties like langs die dam, sal hierdie tonne beter wees. Soos om ‘n nuwe vislyn te cast in die dam. BTW, jy kan nie daar visvang nie.

Wallet status: Dis twee weke se smokes, gee dit op vir ‘n rukkie dan kan jy hierdie bywoon. Ons weet dis moelik, maar ons kan, want ons is wenners!

sowing the seeds

Wolmerfest

When? April or May

How does it work?

Pak snacks in for the trip, want jy gaan die Noord betree. Leave all your issues and worries at home and head into the infamous Wolmer Events Arena for metal, rock, and even chilled vibes.

Lekker rating: The most fun you can have in Pretoria North.

Wallet status: Skip die take-aways vir ‘n maand, dan het jy genoeg bokke om vir jou ‘n kaartjie te kry, jou dame, en sommer Giel wat like van drink.

wolmerfest

STRAB

When? May

How does it work?

The big one in Mozambique. Tons of acts, the great beach view, and R&R to keep you busy. As jy nie die band like nie, mes-hande af strand toe en baljaar soos ‘n kind met ‘n goue ster op sy voorkop.

Lekker rating: Did we mention the beach? Hope pret. Jy is op die strand! Gaan mal! Drink so baie van daardie lekker bier, kry ‘n tan, en moet vir ‘n fok nie jou plakkies weer vergeet nie.

Wallet status: So twee kar premies wat jy gaan moet skip, en weer vinnig moet inhaal. Banke verstaan hierdie kak.

strab

Innibos Laeveld Nasionale Kunstefees

When? June to July

How does it work?

An arts festival in the middle of Nelspruit. Over a few days where you can take in the arts, music, and mini doughnuts all around you. Practise your “tannies” and “ooms” before each sentance.

Lekker rating: The alternative music, YES! Always a few rock acts to keep you from shaving off your ears when you look at the “main stage” where the “Afrikaans is Groot” groups are performing. Camping sucks though, people around you like their sleep.

Wallet status: Flip jou spaarblikkie en bum smokes vir ‘n week.

innibos 2016

Mozamboogy

When? July

How does it work?

Amper dieselfde vibe as STRAB. Mozambique, see, strand, en goeie musiek. Net met meer chilled tunes. Jy gaan gat swaai.

Lekker rating: Ja Nee Lekker! Groovy en funky tunes vir vier dae, en daar is ‘n beach. As jy nie die vibe dig nie, speel touch rugby op die strand.

Wallet status: Spaar soos jou ouma spaar vir hierdie ene.

mozamboogy

Oppikoppi Festival

When? August

How does it work?

Can we say the king of the local music scene? Oppi-Fokken-Koppi. One huge music festival in Mordor. Los pappie se BMW by die huis, want hier word jy donners vuil! Moer baie bands, moer baie mense, en jy gaan ten minste 8 ure moet afstaan om jou tent te soek.

Lekker rating: Hou jy nie van dust-engele en tot 3 uur die oggend “Oppi” te skree nie? Wel, dan is Koppi nie vir jou nie. Vir die res wat normaal is, is Oppikoppi klaar in jou dagboek geskryf en verlof al klaar ingesit.

Wallet status: Jy gaan betaal perd. Maak dit fun, moenie uitgaan vir ‘n maand nie, en besoek Oppikoppi na jou “healthy regime.” Jou siel gaan uitgehonger wees vir ‘n party en jy het ekstra bokke in jou sak. SCORE!

oppikoppi

Rocking the Daisies

When? October

How does it work?

Jy gaan rock en jy gaan party! Rocking the Daisies, die goeie ou Kaap se pre-eminent musiek fees. Jy gaan altyd full-hipster as jy dit beleef! Invest ook sommer hier in ‘n doos groot lilo, of word Scuba Steve.

Lekker rating: Jy gaan by die rivier afdryf met ‘n lilo, sonbrand, ‘n dop met ‘n huge smile wat jou ore nie eers gaan keer nie.

Wallet status: Vir ons Valies gaan dit ‘n arm en ‘n been kos. Ons stel voor jy gaan waiter vir ‘n paar weke of verkoop jou lyf vir geld (nie rerig nie)

rocking the daisies

Synergy Live

When? November

How does it work?

Do you like beats and good music? Synergy is die ene vir jou. Propvol fun en entertainment. Jy kan jol en geniet!

Lekker rating: Nogal befok. Een dag van goeie music en propvol kakpraat in die mooi (maar bloedige) son.

Wallet status: Vra vir een jaar se sakgeld by jou ma, dan is jy piele!

synergy live

We might’ve missed a few music festivals, if so, just drop a comment below and we will add it to the list. Lekker! Kom 2016, ons is fokken reg vir jou!

hades-thumb-gif

*All photos from the respective festivals’ Facebook pages