Everyone always says that they are living or living the dream or some shit like that. I tend to think that they are just talking smack and trying to make themselves feel better about their fucked up situation. I live by a set of rules; let’s just say quests that you have to complete in order to take the belt of winner at life. Some may be outrageous and may never be done, unless someone invented a time machine which I think already exist (explain déjà vu). But nevertheless they are points that must be ticked off sooner or later. Make your pick; just remember that I am watching you and the Windhoek guy as well. Note that the first ones may be easier than the latter. – Saved the day, it may be small or something for only one person. Like for instance, you saved a baby kitten from a tree. – Told your girl that you loved her in front of a crowd of strangers. – Cooked a perfect meal (toast and 2 minute noodles don’t count) – Drank a whole day beer without eating and still be the last man standing. – Caught livestock with your bare hands. – Drove a super car. – Stood up to your old man and gave him advice. – Survived a whole Twilight movie. Enough of the silly stuff, now for the real hard shit. – Swam next to a shark and not lose a body part. I mean, you, the ocean and a great white next to you. – Fucked your way out of a tight situation. – Stopped a stampede of animals. – Made a weapon with a gerbil, two onions and mouthwash. – Saw a real live dinosaur, bonus points if you rode it. – Was in a stand-off with a cowboy and won. – Drunk a whole bottle of tequila alone and not pass out. – Survived the trenches of Mordor/District 9 at Oppikoppi. – Had sex with a celebrity (celebrity look a likes don’t count for shit) – Punched Bakkies Botha. – Went to a party nude and no intention of putting on any form of clothes. – Did a back flip over a fire with a bicycle or any thing with wheels. – Ran onto a field with a live game of any sort and tackled the fucking ref. – Spotted some sort of alien life. Again bonus points if you made contact. – Shook the hand of Charlie Sheen, the ultimate winner. – Slept with hot twins and not have an awkward morning after. – Pet a fully grown lion and tried to get on his back. – Ate a bug that was still living, accidental mosquitoes does not count. – Auditioned for a role in a porno, and got it. Down right fucking impossible, ultimate kudos if you can tick off any one of them. – Slept with Megan Fox. – Actually tried to pick a fight with the real Chuck Norris. – Climbed a mountain nude as the day you were born. – Showed up drunk for a job interview and got it. – Fixed the DVD player from blinking 12:00 the whole time. – Sold a piece of art that you made for a ton of cash. – Caught a fly with one hand and let it go again, you were one with nature. – Stage dived and crowd surfed for at least a minute. – Got killed and survived. – Set fire to yourself, killed the fire again and came out unscathed. Like a boss. – Won an argument against Gareth Cliff. – Loved the same woman and not wanting to be with someone else for the rest of your life. So there you are, how many could you tick of your list? Frans Nicely done!