All right Snor City, hope you’ve been growing that mo. With Movember almost over, you must feel sad about needing to shave that beast, but why stop here? Keep on rocking that thing. Christmas isn’t the only thing happening this month, so don’t be fooled by the over-the-top decorations everywhere. There are a few gigs and events to keep you occupied and out of trouble this December, some ranging from early morning drinking to late night partying all around the “Valies” region. We urge you to try everything this month to enjoy the last moments of our existence….*cough cough*

Saturday 1 December – MOJO’s

Join Die Tuindwergies for a night at MOJO’s for their album launch in the popular club near Kolonade Mall. If you are an avid fan of the band, even if you are not you should be! Make your way to the club to experience what all the fuss is about these local guys.

Drunk Rating: Starting off chilled and relaxed but breaking out soon after that, and shaking your head to “Kopskudkinders”. Afterwards getting lost on the highway because Zambezi had a name change.

Die Tuindwergies

Saturday 1 December – Synergy Live Festival

Synergy will for the first time ever be in Johannesburg. The historical, Riversands Farm in Fourways, host to last years’ epic Ramfest, is where you can expect to party your face off, with one of the most iconic dance acts ever to grace the ears of all dance fans. And with acts like: Newtown Knife Gang, The Narrow and Wrestlerish, the event makes sure to cater to all musical tastes. Tickets are available online for R380 and R450 at the door. Grab your VIP tickets online for R600 it will definitely be worth the extra cash.

Drunk rating: With The Prodigy headlining, there’s no need to get drunk. But, do it anyway, and try to not accidentally (or intentionally), be a firestarter.

Synergy Live 2012

Saturday 8 December– Wolmer 16

If you have never been to any of the Wolmer shows, I suggest that you make a plan and attend one. The “Wolmer Plaas” is situated just past Pretoria North and just off Brits road (Note, not close to Brits at all) on a open field, a lot of trees to keep the shade intact, a permanent stage and a fully stocked bar to keep your thirst clenched. Bands to keep an eye out for include Boargazm, Pestroy, Black Cat Bones and the ever so entertaining Tidal Waves. Expect masses of metal heads and followers of local music. 80 bucks gets you in with a R70 cooler fee, and if you really are too hammered to drive, you can make it your campsite.

Drunk Rating: This is where I am very amused, I have never been sober at all with one of the Wolmer shows and I am in doubt if I ever will be, so I will throw down some personal experiences. I tripped in the bush countless times, stood on the roof of my own car, did some naughty things in my car with a lady, got hit on the head with a bottle (which broke into little pieces) by my friend and just had good times there. So check it out!

Wolmer Rock

Tuesday 11 December – Atterbury Teater

Fokofpolisiekar will be hosting their Let the good times roll tour at the Atterbury Theater to perform the best songs from the past 10 years in true Fokof style. But I suggest you get a ticket early because there is only place for a mere 500 Fokof fans.

Drunk Rating: Trying to match Francois van Coke’s vocals on each and every track, and screaming “Hulle is fokken goed live” at least 7 times to the girl next to you.

Fokofpolisiekar Let the Good times roll

Wednesday 12 December – Aandklas Hatfield

From 12/12/12 at 12 noon the drinks will only be R12 at Aandklas for R12 entrance, now if your eyes still can’t comprehend all the 12’s in the line, don’t worry. Just take any money that 12 can easily divide into, you won’t get mixed up. Mrs B will also be making an appearance to keep you entertained.

Drunk Rating: Losing all your money and integrity while dancing on the tables before 5 o’clock the afternoon and tripping down the stairs backwards while still holding your drink firmly in your hand.

Aandklas Hatfield

Friday 23 December (depending on whether shit goes down or not) – The world might end, so get hammered party.

Alright, so the world probably won’t end. However, for anyone looking for a good excuse to do stupid stuff and get wasted, look no further. Sell your house, your car and send WhyEd? All your cash, if the world ends you won’t need it. If it’s not the end of the world well… no refunds! But seriously, if by some damn miracle the world is set to end; don’t you want to go out with a bang? Put on some tunes get a few bears and party like you’ve never partied before.

Venue: On top of a mountain, in your parent’s basement, at your job and pretty much everywhere else.

Drunk rating: Drunk enough to forget why you’re drinking.

Party like no Tomorrow 23 Dec

Tuesday 25 December – Your home

Fill up the bar fridge a few days beforehand, buy some meat and wood for a nice relaxing braai with the family. Not a typical event that requires going out, some places may be closed for the festive day.

Drunk Rating: Semi sober, a funny story from 2 years back, I spent Christmas day on a deck with my ex-gurll and two friends the whole day doing nothing but drinking Heineken. It was magical! So I would suggest doing exactly that.

Motorcycle Details

Monday 31 December – Everywhere

The only parties where you don’t need an invite and everyone will be sloshed out of their minds come 12 o’clock. There are countless parties on that day everywhere you go, so make a plan and decide on yours carefully. Try Hatfield Square or Arcade Empire to not get disappointed.

Drunk Rating: If you don’t look like this guy, you are doing it wrong. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2XeVs4wqdE]

*Note that the list will probably change in the next few days due to more events that will be streaming in

See you at the bar

Ed