This story comes from a long way back, you might call it my younger, more adventurous time in my life. Twas the year of 2007. This is the solid truth and names have not been changed….

It all started while we were having a very good party, there was an overflow of booze and laughter. Playing beer pong and having tequila shots were always a winner in my books. Eventually later in the night as everyone got more buzzed and happier, Ballie comes up with a great idea, “let’s go to the sea and swim.”( We were still in Pretoria FYI, a good 800 km’s from any place resembling a sea), everyone just laughed at the idea thinking it could be funny but not really considering it.

So as the night  progressed, people started to fade away, Louen and Deon took a time out in front of PS3 while still playing a rally game, and my good friend Allain kept talking on about how awesome it would be to pass out and wake up on the beach with the sand under his feet, eventually the night took his toll on him on the garden couch (yes there was a couch in the garden at the time).

As soon as the tequila shots got poured and consumed we decided to pack it in and go swim in the sea with zero thought, except the joy in our hearts, we grabbed Allain who was still passed out on the couch, he was only in his boxers and Crocs(don’t judge), the smallest guys carried him to the car(sorry Werner and WindiBob).

We actually had a good fucking plan in our minds, Ballie had to get the drinks( he grabbed a bottle of JB Jet whiskey, Jack Daniels, Stroh Rum and a good ol’ Wellington, forgot the mixers completely) and I had to get blankets and for some or other reason I grabbed 24 T-shirts  (again, don’t judge) and forgot the blankets!

And so we were off in the middle of the night, probably around 12 o’clock with Rise Against full blast in the car and the clean whiskey and rum flowing down our throats, it came back up through *Ballie’s windpipe against the roof of the car, we were probably driving 15 minutes when that occurred. A good start though.

*Let me first tell you how Ballie’s night went before this, he passed out, threw up, woke up, made out with a girl, passed out again, woke up, threw up yet again and got a A+ on Dance Dance revolution, so it was pretty wicked night for him before “Die Groot Trek”.

Back to the story, we were around Joburg or in that area when the first piss stop had to happen next to the highway, Allain unaware of all our intentions, just got out ,did his thing, climbed back in the car before passing out again. We had to stop for fuel a few km’s later so we got out, paid (I think ) for the gas and gave the friendly petrol attendant half a bottle of Wellington (he looked very iritated at the time at these five guys that clearly had no plan so to speak of) and bought R200 of chips at Wimpy……yes it was a fuck load of chips but it was so good.

The next stop could just be described as truly one of the funniest moments in my life, we got out yet again for urinating purposes. Allain climbed out of the car,still pissed out of his mind ,stood under the road sign and did his thing yet again……please people, just picture a person fully unaware where he is, thinking he is still in Pretoria , looking up to a road sign and seeing Durban 73km……

And with that he shouted these precious words: “Are you guys fucking stupid, I was not fucking serious you fuckers, Oh my fuck I have to be at work in 5 fucking hours, I am on a fucking final fucking warning!” It was a beautiful sight 🙂

We left, our quest ended in a total failure, so close yet so far. We drove back with the music getting softer and the mood beginning to fade like the night air. We got pulled over just outside of Joburg. We had empty bottles laying on the dash and the stench of old whiskey in the air, but for some bizarre reason the Metro let us go without a warning or nothing. I tend to think it was my lucky wallet that saved the day.

We pulled in the driveway at home just in time for Allain who had to work and on his final warning. All he did when we got home was jump in the pool to get refreshed and dashed to open his store.

We woke up the two sleeping idiots that were slumbering through our adventure at my house. To top it all off, I had one of the worst hangovers ever the next day to accompany me in explaining it to my ex-girlfriend on why I was in Harrismith at 4 o’clock in the morning trying to get reception…..

But like all good things in life, it was an impulsive decision that I would gladly do over. Just plan a tad better next time guys.